Tuesday, November 16

not going through the best of time now but ill be back, readers!
please bless me with courage and stand firm.
i know many of your might not know what has been going on all the way..
just feel like ranting here...

because no one know exactly how i feel.
how many times you really put your heart and soul for someone and yet you get hurt again and again.
and when the time someone that hurt you had changed, your heart and soul had left...
it's really making me very upset as i type all these.
i think that im just talking rubbish which no one would understand.

i thought we could go on.
i thought i could come back.

and when the heart and soul had left..many unexpected things would happen.
people do change, and even i myself cannot recognise what become of me recently.

i have not ate for 3 days and that is not because i need attention or because i want to go on diet etc.
people around me keep forcing me to eat but i do not even feel a little hungry at all.
im in a mess now. and i deserve it for letting all these happen..

even though i remember saying, dont dwell on the unhappiness, reach for the happiness..
but it aint easy. because i can't forget the unhappiness and thus led to so much fucked up thing.
im leading a fucked up life now becoming a fucked up person.

sorry to all that care and are worried.
just let me be my way and when im fine, ill be back like the cindy everyone loves.

ultimately, sorry to the j.

somewhat, i miss the cindy i used to be. but i cant anymore.
this is my mistake and i will face the music.

waiting for 7pm so that i can continue my drinking.
take care everyone. i hope you'll all be happy and not be like me.

love,
Cin.

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