because you should touch my heart...

why can't human be this simple?

sometimes it is just so simple.
i love you, you love me, we are happy family.

not feeling really happy these few days.
9am and i am still not asleep. i don't know why.

had steamboat with vanessa and j just now for late dinner.
and j fell asleep while i chit-chat with vanessa till she left my place at 7am.

sometimes i really wonder, is it me who can't appreciates you or you who can't cherish me.


why can't anyone understand me? maybe that's because i can't understand myself well enough yet. i don't really know what i want. because if i do, would i even be in this state?
if i am so clear about what i really want, then either:

1) i'd be single and leading my own life.
2) love you, trust you, and give you my all.

but i can't even choose in between this two.
guess it's really hard to bring me up again this time. it's never like how it was in the past when we quarelled and i was so easily coaxed, within few hours/1night i am back with you again.. it's never like i could smile at you from the bottom of my heart again..

why have we become like this?

sometimes i wish time would turn back...
because right from the start, my heart had many cracks and up till now, i don't know how long it'd take you to glue them back for me again...


i wish someone could just tell me what to do. or that if i could make up a decision myself.. but it ain't easy. afterall, i don't deny i felt your love. but what i want is not love that last for 3 months, and broken again, and love again, then broken again.. what i want is love, constantly.. faithfulness.. trust..

simple is bliss.
yet people like to make things complicated and therefore bliss is hardly attained.


fml.