To feel like before

This is a wordy post.
Haven slept a wink since yesterday.

Met up with qi, qy and eme to rws and then to town and then to illuzion..

Illuzion 1st year anniversary celebration and all of us in uniforms like student, nurse, police, sailor, french maid. Quite a joyful experience for me as I have never worn such uniforms before and I wore the police woman attire. Pictures would be up soon.

Headed to nana for a while and then left to meet anqi with alicia.

We nua and relax till dawn when kailin is awake before we go for breakfast. Omg. I really feel like dying when I feel the morning sun. So crazily scorching hot!!

Wanted to go home already but heard that they going kfc for breakfast, and since they also ask me to join along, and that I am very tempted to try the kfc porridge, I went along..

But to our disappointment the porridge sold out and would be ready in 20mins time. So we ordered some stuffs and then buy the porridge for takeaway.

Yes! It is very yummy. Very! I mean of cause not to the extend like 5 star standard but it is already good enough for a light breakfast. Only $2.50. Next time I eat I confirm want to try ordering plain and without chicken also.

Hmms.. I really wish I don't have to work on friday because I think workplace sucks now. Totally not like our 'home' anymore.. But too bad even if now I don't want to work I must produce a valid reason and blahblahblah.. Sounds like an office job to me now. But of cause, despite how unwillingly I am, I will still go on friday as it is really my last day after working for about 15 months..

Was browsing through some of my entries just now.. I realised like few months ago I was still a happy girl and doing some shopping, hanging out with my girls and having loving time w bf..

But I don't know why.. I don't seem to feel like.. Extremely happy these days.. Like something changed, something happened.. Even though I don't know what, but I have still been myself all along., did my best and I still find something missing...

Like the joy few months back... Can I find it back again?

I always knew communication is very important in all kinds of relationships.. But it seems harder and harder to communicate with you each time.. You never seem to concentrate to what I wanna talk to you about.. Sometimes I get so frustrated I rather keep pretending smiling and just keep to myself/talk to my gfs..

I think I am quite a strong girl.
Actually I am really very stress about work, life, future, school, everything nowadays.. To the extend I wanna cry because I don't have anyone who can really listen to me.. I am always the one giving people advices or helping ard.. But no one seems to dare to give me any help or advices etc.. Am I really so independent to you all?

Maybe its my fault that I always shown my strong, ego and independent side. That's too bad, I'm a leo.

I am getting so frustrated with myself and us. It is just like a empty shell heart. Only on the surface we look good, but inside we actually don't know what's going on in between us, our daily life and our frustrations etc.. I thought we're supposed to share our thoughts and talk to one another?

I just wish we could be like before...

I remember telling you, if one day you want to let go/dont love me, let me know beforehand. So I can prepare myself for it.

Not going to think so much for now.
After all I still think you love me because I know I love you.

Xoxo,
Cindy nah
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!