Even though I do agree facebook kills some blogger and I am one of those who keep posting on facebook and neglect my blog at times.. But during the need to, ill still rather blog then wall. (:
Boyfriend is sleeping tightly next to me now.. Somehow I feel kinda irritated that he never accompany me despite not spending much time together for a period of time liao.. But u know he is awfully tired physically and mentally.. Have to work and wait for me to end work and do this and that just to try to make me happy.. And sometimes I will sleep at his house until I am full of sleeping only to realise it is 5pm already and my poor boy has already left house at 11am..
Work last night was alright but something happened and thankfully enough it happened, though it wasn't a good thing that happen, but indirectly it actually allowed boy and I to talk about what we had always kept in our heart all these while.. We managed to clear our doubt and I could see how much I meant to him and could feel how much he meant to me by trying to stand up for our rights.
Guess not many know of our story and how we come by to be together because they only appeared in my private blog and I don't see the need to wash some laundry in the public.. Sometimes I really do want to.. I get so mad over certain thing I really feel like publishing them to the world.
I don't know how many times do I have to repeat myself to all the idiots and hypocrites around me (us).. Like the saying goes 'you don't have to explain to someone if he/she doesn't believes you'. But I can't.. I tried to shut up.. To endure.. To accept.. Yet times and times I'm being let down.. Troubles from the other party keep coming.. It is such a nuisance I wish I can't be bothered but I am unable to do that..
Boyfriend told me, if because of what happened and I am going to leave him, I am giving them/her what they want.. And that I should consider and think about it..
Yea, true.
Like I always tell my friends, if someone wanna make you angry, don't be! Cause if you're.. Then he/she did it! But if you don't let it affect you, he/she gets angry! And you win!
Okay, I understand it is not about some games.. Win or lose.. It was just an example..
It is just that.. The affairs of heart cannot be measured in this way.. I am unable to explain that because I don't know how I am feeling right now.. It feels like chemistry to me.. Where all the emotions mixed up together, and I suck at chemistry. I cannot handle, not because I don't know how to.. I don't wish to..
Do you know it is such a tiring thing to hate/quarrel/argue with someone? At least, to me, it is.. I find it so tiring yet I know certain people find them fun. I don't get it, call me dumb, I still don't get what's so fun in bringing misery to your happiness..
You know.. The feeling in my heart has been suppressed for very long and it is making me feel very vexed and I detest the kinda feeling..
But every time I am upset I receive lots of text from my friends asking me if I need help, if I am okay, that they will be there, they will support me, asking me not to think too much.. I appreciate all that.. But.. I don't know.. It just don't feel good..
I feel like screaming telling the world how injustice I feel.. Telling the world I am not a third-party.. Telling the world I have my story too.. I feel like I need help.. But who can help me? No one.. Because this matter can only be resolve between the people who are involved..
Come again.. It is actually a very minor problem to some people.. They feel that I am being unreasonable.. Trying to make a big fight outta small matter. But I am not.. I believe everyone who is reading this now will agree with me that no one likes to be accused and no one likes to have people interrupting their relationship and no one likes being threaten, no one likes to always see people with weird eyes looking at them..
Why the weird eye.. Because people misjudge.. Misunderstand.. And they only know one-sided story. All the shallow people in this world.. Sucha disgrace to their own character..
I cannot stop.. I got so many and so many to talk about.. How, why, I got doubts and anger but I keep them to myself.. I try not to find trouble but trouble finds me.. So should I find trouble or should I let trouble find me? It is so contradicting..
I hope u can stop stepping into my (our) life.. Because it is so funny.. Whenever I think of it.. Remember u used to say that I snatch your boyfriend? But look at it in another view.. You were single and we were together.. I don't get it.. During that period of time is I snatch your boyfriend or you snatch my boyfriend? Haha ridiculously funny... Ok I think I should stop.. The more I talk about this matter.. It'll be never ending and trouble starts finding me again..
I am so sick of everything, if not because of boyfriend's support, I'd have already be a single lady out there dancing at some clubs pretending like nothing ever happened.
Good night everyone.. I hope after pouring out like 30% of my woes ill feel better and tuck myself into bed.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!
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