MY DEAR....

i'm feeling very down. my heart feels so heavy, and it ain't as if i have no friends to talk to, it is just that i'm in the middle of no where, and i don't know where should i start from.


friends come and go, but i know in my heart, i have friends around me who truly cares and always hope that i do well. (yes, i know i might sound so confident about my friends around me, but to me, in every kind of relationship, i think trust is the most important of all.)


and speaking about trust, i don't admit i'm a complete lip sealer, which means i don't deny that i do spill some beans at times, i'm truly sorry but i don;t mean harm. i don't admit i'm a best friend, because i know i'm someone who doesn't know how to plan schedule well. (i don't exactly know how to give my time to my different loves. my family, my friends, my bf and all), i just don't think there's anything good about me. damn.


if pictures were to speak for me, i'll gladly let em do it.




and while uploading, i can't imagine how happy i was in the past..



when we started off as girlfriends..



oh amanda,



one of my happiest birthday..



how we became besties..



ah seng,

gees kenrick,



my 1/2 stagmont family..



the always warm and cold..



so hard for 4 of us to hang out as 1..



the hidden happiness..

my sm crew..



stupid girl..



the friendship we have..



how many years..



girlfriend..

how much do we know one another..



those were the days..



stupidstupid..



looking back, what's happiness when you got friends like em..



and how we celebrated our birthdays..



they made the cake for me (&kenrick)..



whenever i look at these pictures of my 2007 birthday, there'll be nothing but guilt. my heart is so guilty because i know who baked the cake. and yet, i wasn't even there on her birthday when she invited me over. i forgot, how could i even forget. an excuse for being sucha bad friend. the 4 of us would be there for one another's birthday, yet.. yet, she wasn't angry.

tell me,
if you planned my birthday w my friends,
baked a cake with a friend for me and kenrick,
and you invited me over to your birthday months later,
yet i didn't appear to wish you happy birthday..
how'd you feel. (mad, totally unappreciated)

but that kind girl didn't even hold it against me. oh man, i wanted to say all these from so long ago..

i'm sorry (if you happen to see this, you know i'm apologising to you)



my 2007 birthday was a relationship disaster, i swear i cried on the strike of 12, but i still have girlfriend who bought me flowers..


and i got to say, no.
pictures can't do the saying for me (in this situation). there's too much for me to put up...


i have many friends around me who cares alot for me.
but where am i when they needed me.
i'm sorry i'm such a disappointment...



talking about friendship, i'm such a total disaster. i bet you can't imagine it when i'm gonna talk about relationship. i know some people hate me to the core, and some people love me like there's no tomorrow.


but i know, i'm someone who is selfish, someone who haven totally learn how to think and behave like a grown up, someone who can't commit well, someone who fucking don't even know when to be contented, someone who don't know how to cherish well..


i'm sorry to everyone;
to people whom i have hurt,
to people who loved me,
to people who hate me,
to people who miss me,
to people who cherished me..





&to anon,
for loving me so deeply..