to be able to eat my mum hand made cookies,

she forced herself to say this.
fang:
for the sake of my food! i announce that CINDY NAH XIN YI IS SI BEI PRETTY Sio.



):
force somemore. lol!!

i don't feel happy because of the happy season.
i really feel like tearing, because i am feeling very empty.


i have no one.
no one.

it's been a terrible month for me, i guess.
terrible in everything that i have been through.



at times, i feel so tired i feel like giving up.
at times, i feel so miserable i feel like giving up.

sometimes i think, why should i work so hard in life? when i can always shake leg at home and do nothing, and then hang out with my friends till the wee hours and then go home and sleep when it is dawn already.



i am tired.
tired of trying to make my life the better.


the more i try, the more i think i'd fail.

well, it's cny in 1and half hours time, i feel so sleepy already.
and i don't want to wait on anymore, imma gonna sleep soon.









and, i haven do my nails, do for what, i am so irritated.


because, i am unhappy.

SUPERWOMAN.

wednesday, after helping dad, i met up with fang at pennisula and then we headed to bugis to shop for my cny clothes.

before that, we went to la mian xiao long bao @crystal jade to have our meal, and then yvonne came along (:


so happy, can eat my favourite food again.
and so, we ordered...


za jiang mian!




xiao long bao! haha sorry there's only one because we gobbled the rest up even before i remembered to take pictures. heh! yummy!!




oh, and this sweet and sour chicken and pork.
so yummy! i am not a fan of sweet&sour chicken/pork but this one is really nice. it seems like they mix the two meat together and, it is just yummy la. fang said she could have another 10 plates. haha! there's only 6pieces in one plate and it cost $10.80.
quite worth it though, it is yummy! worth a try man!




then i settled for some yummy junkies, hehe!




saw this cute little lolli and bought it for baby benben.


they then accompanied me to shop for my cny clothes, we walked into bugis street. managed to get one blue top and after one round we finally buay tahan the crowd man, we left. i rather spend a bit more to shop at bugis junction lor!


junction was also crowded but at least, there's air con.
walked around and fang suggested looking for baby's clothes first and then yvonne suggested praise. so we walked in and i got 2tops for baby.

guy's clothes are so much easier lor!


then unknowingly walked into litmus.
saw this very nice dress, even fang and von said it's nice! but, the only piece left is defected and have to go to central to get if i want the dress. and! it cost $88. what only.. cny then must 8 8 8 meh. lol! i decided to give it a miss, anyway i am shopping for clothes.. yea for cny, but it's also an excuse for myself so that i can buy clothes that i can wear not only on cny. besides, i don't usually wear dresses, do i? lol (:



after walking many rounds, nothing catches our eye.
i felt very 'protected that day, with two nice friends helping me dig for clothes, and being my mirror. i love that kinda fwheeling.. haha.


we settled down for ice cream.



'um chio somemore!



concentration ley.



and when we were waiting for a cab back, kailin called to say that they are not coming to my house for nails anymore, hais, with everyone's hectic schedule, i knew it actually..




then i went straight to farm mart with yvonne and fangfang lor, for prawning.
so fun! i thought it is gonna be boring and there'd be many mosquitoes and such, and, i don't usually like prawning or fishing because i have no patience la! i tried a few times and still feel very pek cek whenever the prawns don't get my bait. haha.


vainpot right! it was around 11pm alr leh, and we were at farm mart, she still want to touch up her make up. for the prawns to see... lol!!




i don't like the fact that i always look so pale. i am very fair, i know. but i don't want to be yellow-ish fair, i wanna be those pink-ish fair kind.



there, preparing the bait.





all the hum hums. lol!




von took over. i didn't help because.. i was busy snapping ma. haha!




you see! i always want to take candid shots then she know i am taking she 'um chio again!



trying her luck...




to no avail, she decided to go opposite. lol!!




serious until standing position like that. haha!!


we caught quite alot lah. we got around 30plus prawns.
very fun lor! i would like to visit there occasionally, the place is relaxing, windy and got music and then can bbq prawns there also. fun leh. i like (:



home, and then i couldn't wake up to help dad.
i slept all the way till 5plus and then slowly prepare to meet fang in town.


baby ben when i gave him the lolli.




haha, cute! (:


i finally bought all my cny clothes, bag, heel.
i am left with one hour and i got to go help dad in the market le.
yawns, terribly tired, in need of sleep man.



finally saw sarah and her laughter is still the same.
lol, my mind is suddenly in a blank i don't know what to continue, guess i really am too tired.
):



baby's booking out tomorrow.
oh ya! i remember.
before leaving fep, i bought a slice of cake from gelare and went to surprise paralove.
didn't accompany her till late because i have to help daddy in the market and really feeling tired. but we promised one another a proper meet up after cny, yay!


qianyi was in town too, but couldn't manage to meet up with her though..too busy shopping for clothes as it was too late, all the shops are closing.

okay, baby's booking out later in the evening, so after helping dad i'll rest as soon as i come home and then meet him to shop for new shoes.. which mean, town again. haha.



alrights!
good night people!
i ain't gonna sleep though..
well...am hungry.
(off to look for food...)

let me strike lottery! ):
need money need money!



going fep to hunt for more cny clothes.

am heading to bugis soon soon soon.
yawns, am so tired and later still have to rush back and get done with nailssss (:


what kinda shirt i should get for cny.
i will prolly get all dresses. easier ma! -.-




byebye!! =D

off to help daddy!
shit ass i couldnt wake up in time, he complained and left first.
now i got to cab there! argh!

MY DEAREST PARALOVE.

it's twelve!
omg, i missed wishing my dearest paralove.
look at how hectic my life is i could actually forget about my dearest gf ):


however,
i am 10mintues late.
my bad.

20th january.
happy 19th birthday paralove.
SERENA CHIN;
you're the shoulder i could always rely on.



i could never forget all these sweetest memories we had, the purest friendship of all. you never did bring me down but only cheered me up. and in which ever circumstances, you always played a fair role and never force me down with decisions. i've neglected you and even till your 19th, i didn't play a part at all.

i am sorry, but i still love you so.



if you believe, we're still the best-est paralove &ding dong!
i love you dear.


and, of course, i haven forget your birthday dinner date.
our newyork newyork! =d
sorry it would be a belated one.



but i know, you'd always understand.
and that is why i love you so much, for being such a unbelievable great friend. really, sincerely.





i can't do much, but here's my deepest wishing for you, and that is to be happy, always.

BLING-ED DAY!

brief update,
after helping dadlove in the market, i came home and prepare to meet kailin.
we went to get our blings in a rush and we made it!


i always go crazy in such places.
i shop and buy like crazy and wish i could own the whole shop. lol.
i bought flowers for mumlove, hopefuly i could help her bling her toe nails (:



flower number 1




flower number 2


then i go crazy over all these, again.


bigger size for the transparent crystals..




light purple for the medium sized ones..


and then i saw this little cute strawberries!
i want to add em` on my nails.
but, i just took out and measured that it is too big. ):


it is still nice though! cute!


and then i just pack the other two packets..

rose crystals and transparent crystals for the medium sized ones..


i am so happy!
then i just came home and immediately webcammy with fangfang hao lian to her. hehe =p



oh yes, after getting our blings, we both were so happy.
also, we helped liokleng and sohboon to get the crytals too. the girls are happy today because we all got our blings.

so -.- right, but we like!


then, kailin and i headed to lot 1. i had pepper lunch express, as usual, my salmon pepper rice with cheese! hmm... yummy.

and then i had yami yogurt, which i haven had for a long time.


then, childhood came.
we chat a little and then anqi and sohboon finish work and i came home.
i cannot go out anymore, i am too tired and i will still be helping dadlove later at 5am.



these days, i really have to edit the contrast and brightness of my pictures because i look like i am dead, you know. so, so pale, and ugly ):





baby let me on a little secret just now, haha.
yes baby, i am smiling.



tomorrow will be another long day for me.
after work i will be heading to town with fang to shop for cny clothes and then be back home around late evening to do nails for kailin and the girls.

yawns.
but nvm, we got blings, and we will be happyy!



alright. got to go.
am reallyyyy tired. hugs.

W PICTURES!

supposed to go interview w kailin today but i have no idea why she don't want to go liao, it's too far anyway, so, i was up since like.. hours ago and i am feeling tired right now already.


i don't know why, i haven had this feeling of emptiness for quite sometime.
i don't know why, but i feel like i haven seen baby for days and i need him by my side right now.
even though we quarrel and we argue, but somehow, i'd like to cry in his arms.
i am upset.




ok, whatever of all emo randoms these days.


i am waiting for sissy to finish bathing and then i shall prepare and probably head down to lot 1 to find anqi for a lil while. also, would like to see if there's any heels i can find at lot 1 for cny. i really haven bought any clothes for cny and i have no mood to shop either. damn lazy.


okay, okay, i've just uploaded some pictures.



did kailin nails for her that day.
i ran out of blings, and thus, not very nice =p





this is random.




and this is my uncle's shop lor!
i know the name refers to chinatown la, but no, it's located at clementi west ave 2.





shocking anot?
i couldn't really capture the whole outlet.
it is a very big difference from 1 year ago when i went to help out.
one year ago, there was only 1 stall and it's so small and really 'market'.
i didn't even know the whole market was renovated and my uncle has bought over 3more stalls.
it's huge and very clean compared to last year!!
i think it's the biggest 'shao la' shop in singapore lor. (guessing only la)
haha.






over at kailin's place ytd.


remember i said her mum gave me many stuff?
these are the goodies. haha.


weird hor, go friend's house and bring back instant noodle?
no choice la. haha.



some thai flavoured which aunty said is damn nice.



this one also.


and then she heard that i said mum is a great cook, she took out her secrets to share.
she said that this kinda method is lazy people use one, go ntuc buy ready-made one, then can cook le. don't have to go market and buy from those indian stalls those spices and then go home and fry and....

i told her, not lazy. is clever leh.
haha!


i don't know whether this taste good though.
but she said it's yummy, and insisted that i bring home. pai seh lor!


tian shi fu brand. curry paste.




some sambal paste.



and she said this soup more boil more yummy.


alright la. i have so many thanks.
cny buy ba gwa give her lor, she told me she like but seldom buy.



anyway sissy done with bathing and i really got to hurry.
it's going 8pm soon. very lazy nor, nvm good also, leave house after 8pm, no peak hour charge -.-










i miss the loving us.
really.

爱一个人

如果你不爱一个人,
请放手.
好让别人有机会爱她.


如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.


有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.


人生中有许多种 .
但别让自己成为一种伤害.


有些缘分是注定要失去的,
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,
爱一个人不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.


男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.


如果真诚是一种伤害,
我选择谎言;


如果谎言是一种伤害,
我选择沉默;


如果沉默是一种伤害,
我选择离开.



如果失去是苦，
你怕不怕付出 ,


如果迷乱是苦，
你会不会选择结束,


如果追求是苦，
你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,


如果分离是苦，
你要向谁倾诉,


好多事情都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦..

(abstracted from an email)

my package arrived!
omg, it is so fast. i expected it to arrive like, 5days later from ytd.
but i woke up and saw a big big package on my table.
happy yo.



heading out to meet kailin.












i just want to be alone, tml.

cindynah.bs is really better viewed in mozilla.
random.



advertisement is coming in on the 18th.
by then would everyone be too busy for cny to view my blog?
well, it's a boring blog anyway.



fangfang is telling me about chestnuts now.
man, i do crave for it.


and this!
i haven had this for a longggg time.




but well, i don't feel like having anything actually.




this time, i can't even cry away my hurt and guilt.
i just wanna stay away, from everyone.

i thought, i must be hungry.



double cheeseburger w extra cheese
mac flurry w extra oreo
and a small coke to go with.



now my tummy is filled, i feel so much better.
i hope.

so what if i've cried away the whole box of tissue.
it doesn't help a little. crying hardly only add on to my headache.



i don't want to cry anymore.
it's been the 2nd night. no more tears.


i am awfully upset because you not only didn't understand,
you flew in a tantrum together with me.
i won't forget the words you say, because the hurt has penetrated deep into my heart.

NO POINT LIVING.

i really wish someone could share my burden with me.
would anyone even understand the situation i am in now?
i don't think so.


absolutely no one at all.



what's the use of acting strong, cindy.
why do you have to wait till everyone's gone and then you cry to yourself and then act strong the following day, again?
what are you afraid of, coward?
cindy, what have become of you..






i don't even know.





i wish i can forsake every single one, for my 0908.
i wish.


i wish i had, just a little more courage.

TOWN 2DAY.

heading to fep to meet eme and qy.
and perhaps prissie too, cos she just called to say she's working at bugis today.



i thank my girls for being there.
so much appreciated.



got to rush!!
byebye!! haha =p

TOASTED WITH CHEESELOVE!

i was feeling a tad hungry again just now, so i went off to ransack the kitchen once again.
wholemeal bread toasted with 2 slices of cheeseeeeee inside!



yummy.
i think i gobble it down in less than 2 minutes.
serious.






i know it doesn't look very good, but do you see the cheese?
it's overflowing. and i accidentally burnt my hand a little because the cheese dripped.
well, still worth it, because it is so, so yummy.




i thought i mentioned that i wanted to sleep?
haha i don't know why. it's 6am again. there's really something wrong with me. and eme too. haha it's the second night i chat with her until 6am.


ok la ok la, i better sleep.
right? =D






i love life the way it is, now.
but i think it could be, better (:

i will be off to meet baby in a while's time! =D













i want ice cream phone, i want ice cream phone!
i don't like f480 le, i don't like f480 le!
i don't care, i don't care! (:

CAESAR SALAD

met up with fangfang at westmall today.

had coffeebean's caesar salad for the first time, even though it's been some time i always wanted to try because fang said that it is delicious.


indeed, it is really yummy!
the croutons are really crunchy, the amount of dressing is just nice, fresh greens, and also quite alot of shredded cheese on it. for only $7.80! (if i'm not wrong.)



to my surprise, i actually ordered a drink without coffee! fangfang too!
she ordered pure chocolate, and i tried the berry'd treasure (like a smoothie, nt bad!)


we went to walk around and i bought 2 nail polish from face shop.
then, we saw this "kaya ball"
there's also cheese, chocolate chips and red bean ones. 10balls for $2.50.


looks interesting and we went to buy 5 cheese 5 chocolate.
yummy too!



headed to timah for pool and met up with yvonne...
i almost ransacked the whole kitchen for food. lol.
it's so weird. either there's too much food/snacks or there's none at all.
time for mummylove to stock up the goods man. i cannot survive without food. haha!


just did my nails.
and i suddenly remembered that a life span of a nail polish is around 1 year. it's 2009 and i've just counted i have around 60bottles of nail polish (don't ask why, i don't know) on my shelf display, i haven really counted the ones in the drawers yet. but let's just take it as 60bottles. should i throw them all away? since it's a new year, i should get new colours and new bottles.






such a waste to throw them because i really love some of them.
but, it is true that some are really dying.. the texture is somehow sticky already. and i don't want to pour 'nail-polish-remover' in or tinner in. when i got time, i should really sit down and see which are the ones to throw. and what are the new colours to buy!! hehe!



i am in serious need of bling blings, actually.
hais. i've just used up my blings just now. i got to buy new and more bling-ki ones for cny. whoohooo!



anyway, i will upload the pictures tml. looks like there's some internal error and i totally hate blogger for that.



and, i really love my nails, for now.
it's bling-ed, but not-too-bling. well, i wished i added more blings actually. haha.
(you won't understand how i feel de la! oops!)



i feel so 'girl' now again.
that my nails is bling-ed, and that it's in shades of pink. awesome. haha. okay enough of blings and nails.



it's 6am again and i am so going to bed as soon as possible.
babylove got to book out today for like a short period of time and he went to lot1 for dinner with his mates and then chiong back to camp. poor me, can't see him. and seems like he will have this weekend burnt away, but i heard from him that he will be booking out for a while this coming friday. so be it then! better than can't meet yo. haha.


good night lovelyssss!








and, i practically hate f480 now, i am going to change to a simple phone. i realise, simplicity is the best. i am quite into the ice cream phone and will most probably get it. it's cheap, and it's just a normal, simple phone, and what's more, it's not-bad-looking afterall.

met up with fangfang and also shuana just now.
laksa wasn't as good anymore, looks like economic bad, food also becomes bad.


haha, anyway i will blog abt it more when i wake up.
gonna tuck myself in bed now. hmm... night night!









giddy spells.

going out to have laksaaaaa with fangfang.
brbbbbb! =D

damn irritating, lappy keeps disconnecting from my internet.
fuming mad.

exam in an hour's time.
i really got to drag my heart along this time, i don't feel like going at all.
well, i have to face the music eventually. even if i don't go for the paper, there will still be sub paper, no sub paper, i will still have to remodule. sickening. damn sickening.



i miss classes in the first two semester.



got to go prepare now.
bye peepos! (:

a cuppa milk before i dive into those series of little nyonya (in youtube) which i've missed during the weekdays.

update ltr then! tatah!

1ST DAY OF SCH

oh ya, before i forgot, jia you people!
it's the first day of school today!
somehow, i wished i could still go back to school, like the good ol' days.
the cheap cheap canteen food, arguing with teachers, hiding from altered skirts, painted nails, coloured socks, ankle socks, coloured hair.. and so on.






haha those days (in secondary sch)..